Sober
by Giselle Malley
Summary: Miriam has been sober for many years. Now that she's ready to take over the reins of her life again, she finds out she's pregnant for the second time. Will she become the absent mother she herself had? or will she become the good mother she always wanted? The story of the mother Helga Pataki needed.
1. Again

**Disclaimer:** Hey Arnold belongs to Craig Bartlett, not to me. I don't earn any type of profit from this story.

 **SOBER**

Pregnant! She couldn't believe she was pregnant again. She had been very careful. In nine years she had never forgotten to take the pill. Oh God! Why was this happening to her now? It was definitely the worst moment to be pregnant. She was finally taking over the reins of her life! Little Olga didn't need her that much anymore, so Big Bob had given her the green light, and she got herself a job. She was so ready to go back to business, not for a child! She remember motherhood; the growing belly, the pain of childbirth, the sleepless nights, not to mention the foul smell of baby vomit and dirty diapers. She didn't need a baby. She didn't want a baby. She couldn't go through all of that again. Miriam knew she had to do something before Bob knew the truth.

Miriam decided to get an abortion in the city. She would have to drive for a couple of hours and would probably be in a lot of pain when she came back and Bob would ask her why she had left. She needed an excuse, an alibi. After a few minutes, she scribbled a note stating she would go to the city to get a surprise for Olga, and stuck it to the fridge. She would pretend she had had a car accident before getting to the city, which would cover both her trip and pain to be. It was simple yet credible, which made it a perfect alibi. Miriam rushed upstairs and kneeled next to her bed to get some money from the wooden box she had under it. She opened the little box, and found not only five thousand dollars, but a bottle of whisky. She lifted the bottle, holding it with one hand. Slowly, she closed the box and pushed it back under the bed. She stood up, now holding the bottle with both hands, and lifted it until it was pierced by a ray of light. The liquid shone as liquid gold between her sweaty palms. Miriam hadn't had a drink ever since little Olga was born. How long had it been since her last drop of alcohol? It had been ten years, ten long years, ten dry years.

…..

His phone office rang. Bob Pataki didn't have a secretary. It was, according to him, too expensive. So when the phone rang, it was he himself who answered the phone.

"Big Bob's Beeper Emporium! This is Bob Pataki." He answered.

"Good evening Mr. Pataki. This is doctor Martin." The voice on the other side of the line sounded serious.

 _Mother humper_ , Bob thought, _don't let it be Olga_. "Tell me doctor" he gulped "how I can help you."

"Sir, are you related to… Miriam Pataki?"

"Yeah, she's my wife. What's with her?"

"Mr. Pataki, your wife had a car accident and she's here, in the hospital."

"Thank you, doctor. I'll be on my way."

Bob hung up the phone, told Nick about the accident and headed home; where he found a happy Olga making dinner. Without a word, Bob went upstairs, to the restroom. He had planned to wash his face, try to relax and calmly explain Olga what had happened. It wasn't until he closed the door that he saw, next to the toilet, a pregnancy test. He picked it up to discover that Miriam was pregnant, again.

…..

After she had finished the whole bottle of whisky, Miriam drove to the city. She didn't make it halfway though. She crashed her car very soon, while being in a total alcohol stupor. Her driver's license was revoked and she was forced by law and Bob to carry on her pregnancy in sobriety.

However if she had to be honest with herself, it wasn't that bad to be sober and pregnant. The first time she had been pregnant things were extremely difficult. She had dropped college in order to work, as well as Bob, in order to pay for a tiny apartment while doing their best to save money to raise the child growing within her. Even food had been scarce. Things were different now; she had a house, warm bed and food. Although she wasn't thrilled about the idea of this new baby, she knew things could be worse than they were. Little by little the idea of getting rid of the baby faded away.

...

Hello! This is my first fanfic ever. I hope you like it. This is chapter 1, but there will be more coming! I will be excitedly waiting for reviews! n3n


	2. Pregnancy

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold. It belongs to Craig Bartlett and co. because if it did, I would have done TJM, and Helga and Arnold would live a house near the beach. XD**

 **Said so, enjoy! 3**

 **CHAPTER II**

 **Pregnancy**

Miriam's pregnancy was going well. She was sure she was having a boy. She could feel the differences between this pregnancy, and Olga's. This baby was constantly moving and kicking her bladder as if it were practicing kickboxing, which caused her to rush to the restroom every twenty minutes. The baby was alive, very lively, growing inside her, which made her feel alive as well. Besides, Bob was being very tender with her. He was very excited with the idea of a boy. He wanted him to be as good in sports as he once had been. Maybe he could become a football player! And get a college sports scholarship! And be a university graduate! And then he would be heir of his emporium! Oh, he had so many plans for him! The best of it all was how understanding he had become. It reminded her of the good old days they had shared together. With these thought on mind, Miriam slowly parted away as she fell asleep on her bed.

When Bob got into the room and saw her sleeping soundly, his heart throbbed. Seeing her pregnant again made him remember how many years ago, she had bravely carried on her first pregnancy. It had been such a difficult time for the both of them. They had had to work extremely hard to make a living but none gave up. He wondered what had happened to her. She was once very energetic, with a great sense of humor, a great passion for life. He knew that it was partly due to her _problem_ , her _great thirst_ , but he knew there was something else, yet he couldn't figure out what was it.

 _She is so beautiful_ , Bob thought for himself. His mind drifted to the past. He had thought the same when he saw her passing next to him in her blue athletic swimsuit. The school's female swimming team was finishing their early morning training. Bob had thought that he would be able to take a swim before classes, but he ended up watching practice. When they were over, Bob got closer to the pool and it was then when she walked by him. _She is so beautiful_ , he thought while admiring her. _She is so beautiful,_ piercing blue eyes, red cheeks blushed out of exercising, pumped pink lips, toned up arms, full breasts and long never ending legs.

"You like what you see?" a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Wh-what" Bob answered. _Criminy_ , he hadn't realized he had been staring at her. _For crying out loud_ , Bob thought, SHE was talking to HIM.

"He's speechless, Mir" another girl said while laughing.

"Well, boy, if you aren't askin' me out, then stop the weird starin'!" she snapped, looking him straight in the eye.

"Emm..I…you see..." Bob started collecting words, still dumbfounded.

"Another looser, Mir!" the same girl said.

"Ugh. Let's go Anna" Miriam said and the girls left to the changing rooms leaving a trail of water behind them. Bob followed her with her eyes as she left. Had anyone witnessed the scene, would have realized that Bob was a goner.

She had been a hard catch. She had been brave during her pregnancy, but as Olga grew up Miriam started being absent. She became a shadow of who she once had been…until now. That baby had brought her back to life. Bob leaned over Miriam and kissed her forehead.

"B?" Miriam said. "I'm hungry"

"Well, Miriam, how about a sub?" Bob asked, hoping she was in the mood for something easy to plase her with.

"Ooh, yes! With pastrami!" Miriam exclaimed as she shook numbness away while Bob's eyes opened widely. Miriam had never liked pastrami.

"Let's go get it! I'm in the mood for a walk!" she continued.

"Ok. Let's tell Olga we'll have takeout food tonight!" Bob told her as he left the room.

Miriam's baby started moving and kicking.

"Calm down, honey. We'll eat soon" and, as if it had understood, the baby stopped moving causing her to giggle.

 _Miriam giggled_. Outside, leaning on the doorframe, Bob had heard her. A lonely tear threatened to roll down Bob's cheek, but it was wiped as soon as it saw the light.

…..

 **Hello! I hope you liked it! I'm sorry it's a short chapter; I promise I'll write a longer one next time. Thank you so much for the follows and the reviews!**


	3. Girl

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold! Copyrights belong to Craig Bartlett and Nickelodeon.**

 **Please, enjoy!**

CHAPTER III

Girl

It was a girl; the ultrasound technician had just confirmed it. _Miriam needed a drink_. She knew Bob would be as disappointed as she was. Another girl. _Maybe just a sip_. Miriam thought of how easy it had been to raise Olga. It had been so easy, that sometimes she didn't feel needed. Olga had been perfect, just a little _too_ perfect. _Olga's pregnancy went well after all._ She recalled how she had never spilled food on her clothes, how she had perfectly held her bottle with her chubby fingers, how fast she had learned to walk, how early she had started speaking… Every accomplishment of her daughter had made Miriam more and more miserable. She loved her daughter very much, but every triumph of Olga, was Olga's only. _Something light, like a smoothie with rum._ Years had passed by killing her little by little, tormenting her soul with an unquenchable thirst. _Would she be judged if anyone saw her drinking?_ Miriam had always been there for Olga, yet she had never needed her. Every award, every medal, every trophy had left her living overshadowed by her own daughter. How could she possibly go through that again? Would she have another perfect baby girl who could go through life without her, rubbing her greatness in her face? _Just a drink…_

"Mrs. Pataki? Are you ok?" the technician asked.

"Oh, yes, yes. I just, got distracted" Miriam said, anguish stamped on her face, while snapping back to reality.

"You didn't seem to take the news well, ma'am" the technician said, feeling sorry for being the news carrier.

"It's just that… we really wanted a boy this time" she cleared her throat as she tried to speak normally.

"Well, ma'am, if your baby is healthy, does the gender really matter?" the technician asked, trying to comfort Miriam a little.

What had made her thought it would? _She really needed a drink._ It could be another overachiever, a boy this time! Miriam felt her heart sunk. The technician was right, the gender didn't matter. Whatever the baby was, Bob would never be the same to her, ever again then. She remembered the time in which she had meant the world to him. It had happened long ago, when they learned she was pregnant. The both of them dropped university and started to work. Even with both of their incomes, they could only afford an apartment the size of a shoebox. And yet she was somehow happy. Every day lingered in her memory as a blurry dream of the past… Bob would wait for her outside of the café she worked in; she would run into his arms and once in them, he held her tight, close to his heart. Then, they walked together, hand in hand, talking about their dreams, the opportunities they had ahead, the trials they were facing, and the baby. The café owner let Miriam have the food customers hadn't eaten or goods that were close to expiring, so that was what they had for dinner. Nightly, it didn't matter if he had had a hard day at work, Bob carried Miriam in his arms to the bedroom, were he made sweet love to her, even when her belly became big and swollen. Miriam had been happy back then, she felt loved, she felt needed, but she hadn't quit drinking. She used to drink a glass of rum a day. She felt ashamed every time she did so. She was aware of the risk it implied for her baby's health, still the thirst gained control over her time after time. She promised herself to stop as soon as the baby was born. Miriam thought that with Bob and her baby, she would be so full of joy that drinking would not be necessary anymore. She did so, for the sake of Olga, Miriam drank no more. However far from what she had expected, when little Olga was born, all the love Bob had had for her, was given to Olga. Miriam's eyes filled with tears at the thought.

"I…I…have to go" Miriam stood as fast as her big belly let her do so.

"I'm sorry ma'am! I didn't want to upset you!" the technician apologized, feeling worse than before.

Miriam smiled sadly and left the room closing the door behind her. She left the clinic and rushed to her car. As Bob was out of town, she was driving although her license was still revoked. Miriam needed to stop the pain she was feeling; her chest ached, she couldn't breathe, tears burst from her eyes, her whole body trembled and she felt _thirsty. Really thirsty._ Miriam stopped in three different stores. When she finally headed home, she had with her three bottles of rum, a bottle of whisky and a bottle of tequila.

Carrying her bottles as if they were a treasure, Miriam got into her house, walking straight to the kitchen. With Bob coming until the next day and Olga staying with a friend, she had the house for herself. She pulled out Bob's smoothie blender, put into it a lot of fresh strawberries, ice and started preparing a smoothie. The sound it made while crushing the ice made her felt anxious, relieved, excited, and… _ashamed_ , a little voice rang in her head, _just like your mother._ At that thought every feeling Miriam had, materialized in her body and got out of her in the shape of vomit.

Olga called her mother from a phone booth to let her know she was fine and remind her that she would be staying at Flor's. Olga swore not to forget that day, as for the first time ever in her life, she had skipped school. She had been all day long with a sixth grader, and he had kissed her. Olga had waited for Flor nearby school. Both girls were together now, Flor being anxious, waiting to get home, so Olga could spill the soup. Olga called once and again, but no one answered the phone.

 **I believe that there's a point in everybody's life when we get to decide to do right or wrong, a moment when we become someone we will be proud of being, or someone whom we feel ashamed of. I have reached this point in Miriam's life. I really hope you like this chapter. I'm so very sorry it took me so long to update, I had hell of a month, but as I promised this chapter is longer than the others. Please, let me know your opinions, they are very valuable to me.**


	4. Monster

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold! Copyrights belong to Craig Bartlett and Nickelodeon.**

 **Please, enjoy!**

 **Thank you so much for reading this story! I'm very sorry for taking so long to update. I really appreciate the reviews, and the follows.**

 **Thank you Nairobi-Harper, Katarina956 and burn-a-dark-soul500 for reading this story since the beginning. :D**

 **Thanks to Pointy Objects as well. :D**

CHAPTER IV

Monster

It was a beautiful midsummer evening. The sun was starting to set, beautifully painting the sky in a palette of yellows and oranges. As Miriam walked home she noticed that the clouds had a light shade of pink on them. She was five years old, and her mother had forgotten to pick her up from school, again.

Miriam walked slowly, thinking, wondering what could have caused her mom to forget about her this time. She would sometimes forget to pick her up whenever a recital date was near, and her ballet students needed more practice. Miriam disliked that very much, as her mom got in a very bad mood. In other occasions, she was forgotten when her mother's friends visited her from the city. Miriam didn't like that either. When they were there, her mother was very happy, but when they left, she became really sad and would cry for hours. On very rare occasions, Miriam's existence wasn't acknowledged when _HE_ visited his mom. _He_ was a very tall and handsome man, with the strangest eyes Miriam had ever seen in her whole life; they were purple no, violet, (that was what her mother had said) and very sad. After his visits, her mom cried for days.

Miriam wasn't tall enough to ring her house's bell, so she knocked instead. She knocked for thirty minutes, but no one answered. Tired and hungry, Miriam got into her house through the dog door. She walked into the kitchen, shook off the dust from her dress and walked towards the living room. Over there, face down, lying on the floor was her mother.

"Mommy!" Miriam cried, tears swelling up in her eyes. She ran to her mother, kneeled down and grabbed her mother's hand between her own tiny hands.

"Mommy, are you ok? Mommy? Mommy?" Miriam said crying desperately. The fingers she was clutching started to move.

"Mimi, is that you dear?" Miriam's mom opened an eye. She slowly turned her head, looking for her daughter.

Miriam threw herself to her mother's back, hugging her with all her might.

"Mimi, what are you doing, silly? Why are you crying like that?" the woman said with a pasty voice.

"Mommy I thought you were dead!" tears kept on falling from her eyes.

"C'mon darling! Why would you think something like that? Mommy decided to take a nap on the floor. That's all."

"But I was so scared, mommy!" Miriam was on her knees again. Her mom was on her knees as well, wiping Miriam's tears with her right hand while her left hand was on the floor in front of her, keeping her balanced and preventing her to fall over her daughter.

"Shush, shush. Clean those tears from your pretty face. Mommy's ok, see?" the woman opened her arms and held Miriam in an embrace.

"Ok. Mommy"

Miriam was used to take care of herself. She woke up early in the morning, took a quick shower, got dressed, prepared breakfast for both herself and her mother, and packed something for her lunch. She had always known that her mother wasn't like other mothers, but it was until recently, that she had spotted the difference and given it a name: alcoholism. That morning Miriam was upset at her mother. She had had a lot of homework for which she didn't do the dishes norr cleaned the house the previous night after dinner. Her mom had promised to do it, but she hadn't. What kind of mother did she have? She didn't clean, cook or took care of her daughter! Good thing she at least worked! That kept her busy and away from rum during the day.

"Good morning, pumpkin!" her mom said, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

"Good morning. Adalaide." Miriam said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, well! Looks like someone got up on the wrong side of bed!" Adalaide joked.

"You didn't do the dishes last night!" Miriam said with a scowl. "Am I supposed to clean everything around this place?"

"C'mon, sweetheart. Don't be such a grouch!" she hiccupped.

"Are you tipsy?!" Miriam was getting angrier and angrier.

"Just a little. Relax, honey. Don't act like an old lady, worried about chores and dishes."

That was it. Miriam had had enough of it. How could her mother call her an old lady? Miriam had to take care of everything because she didn't, and now she was calling her 'an old lady'. She was only twelve, but was more responsible than her. She needed someone who cared about her, yet SHE was the one who took care of her mother.

"I do EVERYTHING HERE!" Miriam's anger flowed as she yelled, "You don't do anything else than passing out and drinking! How can you call yourself a mother! You're nothing but a drunkard! You don't cook, you don't clean, you-you don't do the laundry! _I_ do EVERYTHING!"

"Oh, excuse me Miss Perfect!" Adalide spitted poison with her words "You have no idea of how hard it is to be the mother of yours! You ruined MY life! If someone's gotta be mad, it should be me. YOU ruined MY life!"

Miriam's eyes filled up with tears of hurt and anger at her mother's words. Adalaide noticed too late the effect they had had over her daughter. Miriam darted to the door, grabbing her backpack and putting it over her shoulder. Leaving her mother behind, she shut the door as hard as she could. Adalaide sat down at the kitchen table and started to cry.

Later that night, when Miriam came back home, the house was as clean as it had never been before. Sitting on the couch, with a stern look on her face, was Adalaide. Miriam wanted to say something, but before a word could come out of her mouth, her mom interrupted her.

"Sit down, Miriam. It's time for you to know the truth." She signaled the couch, so her daughter would sit next to her.

Miriam was speechless. She obeyed, without muttering a word, and sat next to her mother.

"Have you ever wondered why do I dress you up in violet, pumpkin? Well, let me tell you then. My mom and dad are both from very wealthy families. Their marriage was arranged, you see, so none of them loved each other. When I was a little girl like you, the school presented Romeo and Juliet." She sighed "I fell in love with love there. I started reading poetry and writing some poems of my own. By that time I had been practicing ballet for years. I was very talented, you see. My parents were very proud of me. I worked really hard, so when I was fifteen I was awarded with a scholarship to study at an elite school in Sydney."

"Once I got to school. Ballet became my world. I stopped reading and writing. My ambition was to become the best ballet dancer in the whole world. It was there where I met him, your father."

Miriam gulped. She wanted to hear more, and dared not to interrupt.

"Stéphane Beaulieu. He was one of the school's instructors. He was twenty-six and beautiful as a dream. He was tall, muscular and strong. He had soft brown curls, a gentle smile with perfect white teeth, and the most intriguing look I had ever seen, as you may remember darling, he has violet eyes."

Bob was very anxious to get home. He knew that Miriam was going to have an appointment with the doctor, and he wanted to know everything about the baby. He had closed the deal sooner than what he had expected, which had allowed him to take an earlier flight. He had already called a cab, so when the plane arrived, it was already waiting for him at the airport. Everything had worked so well he figured out that he would be home a couple of hours before dinner. In no time, before he could even realize, he was outside of his house.

Bob noticed that Miriam's car was open. He thought that maybe someone had stolen the stereo and got mad at once. However, as he moved closer to the car, he realized that the stereo was there. It seemed that Miriam had gone out of the car in a rush. _Weird._ Bob push open the front door, it hadn't been properly closed. _Not okay._ As he entered his house his nostrils filled with the smell of alcohol which was so strong that made Bob feel dizzy. _Oh, no._ He walked to the kitchen, where he saw five empty bottles next to the sink, along with the blender and a bunch of berries. _Mother humper._

Bob rushed to the living room. Miriam wasn't there. He heard the toilet flush, and sped to the bathroom. There she was, crying and vomiting. At the sight of him she wailed his name.

"Bob, I'm sorry" she raised her arms so he could hold her.

"What have you done, Miriam?" he said holding her by the shoulders, giving her a powerful shake.

"I didn't do any-anything! I threw them through-through the drain!" Miriam sobbed as she spoke. "I didn't drink a drop! I-I don't want to be a monster like my mother!"

Bob's heart throbbed. Tears flowed from his eyes. He wrapped Miriam with his powerful arms, in a tight embrace, holding her close to his heart where she belonged.

"You will not. I won't let you." Bob whispered to her ear.

"Bob, we're having a girl, not a boy. I'm sorry." she said with a face wrecked with pain.

Bob slowly separated himself from his wife, letting her on her own, fragile, as he searched for something in his pocket. He pulled out a pink bow.

"I brought it for Olga, but I guess we could give it to the new girl" he said with a quirk smile, as he placed it into Miriam's hands.

"Oh, Bob." She hugged him.

Bob held Miriam in his arms again, just as he had done millions of times before her first baby was born.

 **I hope you liked this chapter. From here on you will see some differences between Miriam in the show and the one in this story. Don't worry though, it's not an AU, you will see it towards the end of this fanfic.**

 **Please, review! Your comments keep me motivated and willing to write more. Thank you so much for following this story. If you see that some prepositions are being used incorrectly, please forgive me, English isn't my mother tongue and prepositions are quite confusing to me.**


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